Man of Honor
by lalapine
Summary: Lee blames himself when Amanda is injured on the job


Title: A Man of Honor  
Author: Tammy M. Parnell  
E-mail: LaLapine@aol.com  
Summary: Lee blames himself when Amanda is injured on the job.  
Setting: 3rd Season  
Disclaimer: The following story contains characters that belong to Warner Bros, Shoot the Moon Productions, Kate Jackson, Bruce Boxleitner, and other individuals associated with the tv show Scarecrow and Mrs. King, as well as a Janis Ian song. No infringement is intended.  
  
Dedication: For my SMK buddies, Mary & Boots  
  
  
A Man of Honor  
by Tammy M. Parnell  
  
  
Me? They want to give a reception for me?   
  
That's right, partner, Amanda grinned. Billy says it's this Saturday night, and you should get your tux cleaned.  
  
Lee groaned. I hate speeches–and you know I'll have to give one.  
  
Don't worry; I'll help you. Amanda sat down at her desk, proud of her three-year partner. He helped her where she needed it–which was quite a lot in the beginning of her spy career–and she helped him where he needed it–in more social areas. They made a great team.  
  
But what about Operation Funnel? Lee realized he would be missing their next assignment, a drop scheduled for Saturday night.  
  
Hey, Lee. I can handle it. It's nothing we haven't done a million times before.  
  
That doesn't mean it's not dangerous.  
  
A third voice interrupted from the doorway to the Q Bureau. Oh, don't worry, Lee, Francine smiled sweetly. Your assignment is just as dangerous. You know, all those sexy women in tight gowns, crawling all over the man of honor.  
  
Francine, is there something you wanted? Lee said firmly.  
  
Nope. Just wanted to congratulate you. Oh, and to let you know, Amanda, that I'll be your cover on Saturday.  
Amanda rolled her eyes and mumbled under her breath.   
  
See you at five. As she turned to leave, she called over her shoulder, Hey, Lee, if you're concerned about Amanda being in danger, well, just think positively–maybe there's some wacko in the audience who wants to shoot you. You'll both be in danger.  
  
You always know how to cheer a fellow up, eh, Francine? Lee shook his head. She needs a good, swift kick in the–  
  
Lee, why don't we go get a bite to eat and work on your speech at the same time, huh? Amanda asked quickly.  
  
Lee agreed. I could use a break. Any more congratulations like Francine's, and I'll snap.  
  
Don't worry, Lee. I have a feeling no one's quite like Francine.  
  
Thank God for small favors, huh?  
  
***  
  
Amanda, dear, I just don't understand you. Dotty put a motherly hand on her daughter's forehead. No temperature.  
  
Mother, please. Amanda, dressed in black jeans and a black turtleneck, was scurrying around the room, doing last-minute chores before she had to meet with Francine. This is comfortable, is all.  
  
But it's Saturday night. You couldn't possibly have a date in that.  
  
She doesn't have a date, Grandma, Phillip looked up from his comic book at the kitchen table.  
  
Jamie added, his mouth full of cookie. It's work.  
  
The boys had been listening to the women banter for nearly an hour. It was getting tiresome, and they hoped it was time for their mom to leave soon, so the arguing would stop.  
  
See–three to one, Amanda declared. Dotty sighed and took a basket of laundry in the living room to be folded. All right, fellas. I'll be home late, okay? You be good for Grandma.  
  
Sure, Mom. Love you, they answered.  
  
She kissed her boys good night and went to Dotty. Please don't worry, Mother. I'll be fine. Dotty merely grunted, so Amanda quickly kissed her cheek and headed for the door.  
  
Dotty watched her go. Will you call if you're too late?  
  
Mother, I might stay all night on this project. I wouldn't want to wake you. Good night.  
  
Dotty sighed. Good-bye, dear. Did other mothers have to put up with things like this? She shook her head; she had her doubts.  
  
  
***  
  
This should stick, Mrs. King. And we'll get it all on tape, Leatherneck instructed from the apparent extermination van as he adjusted Amanda's wire. Electronic equipment for tracking movement and recording sound was set up expertly in the back; this was where the agents would be, following Amanda's every movement.  
  
Billy asked his team. Leatherneck and the sound boys nodded. Amanda gave a thumbs up signal.  
  
she confirmed.  
  
Let's get this show on the road.  
  
Uh, two minutes, Billy, huh? Lee asked, a little on edge.  
  
Billy looked into his friend's eyes. Two minutes–that's all. Come on; let's take a breather for a second outside. The other agents followed their section chief, leaving Lee and Amanda alone in the van.  
  
I'll be fine, Lee, Amanda answered his unasked question. You don't need to worry.  
  
And if it were the other way around?  
  
I'd worry, she grinned. But not because I don't have confidence in you.  
  
You think I don't trust you? Amanda, I trust you more than anybody. I just want everything to go smoothly.  
  
And it will.  
  
Yeah...It's just that, well, I won't be there.  
  
I know. But it's okay. It's hard for me, too, when you work solo, you know.  
  
Lee cleared his throat. I know you've been a little frustrated with the Agency lately, and...Look; in case something happens...  
  
Amanda took his hands. Nothing will happen.  
  
They stared into each other's eyes, both nervous about what lay ahead that night–Amanda, her solo assignment; Lee, his speech and not being able to be backup to his partner. He squeezed her hands and brushed his hand against her warm cheek. He leaned slowly closer, placing a light kiss on her lips.  
  
Amanda said softly, regretfully pulling away. No, Lee. Embarrassed to look into his eyes, she turned her back. It won't work.  
  
Why not? Lee asked seriously, his heart pounding in the silence.  
  
She shook her head, silently pleading with him to just drop the subject. Where should I start? she said to the walls. The fact that I'm a divorced mother of two small boys, who lives at home with her mother? How about the fact that you're a confirmed bachelor, who likes to pick up and leave at a moment's notice? She held back tears that she refused to show, knowing that to argue against the truth was pointless.  
  
Lee understood her fears and glanced nervously at the van door, expecting the agents to return any second. Why it was so important to him to do this tonight–now–he didn't know; he just knew he had to say it, to let her know. He moved a little closer. Her back was still facing him.  
  
You're the most important thing in my life. I wonder sometimes if I'd make it if...  
  
His voice trailed off as she turned around to see the real truth in his eyes. Their gazes held until both jumped when Billy opened the van door.  
  
It's time, Amanda. And for you, too, Lee. You're due at the banquet hall in an hour.  
  
Lee nodded. As Amanda walked passed him, she squeezed his hand. Don't worry; I'll be careful. She joined Francine in her car while the men prepared themselves at their station.  
  
Billy motioned Lee to step outside. Why do I get the feeling I interrupted something?  
  
Lee kept his eye on Francine's car as it drove away. Just keep me posted, Billy. He turned to the older man and patted him on the back. See you in an hour. And he walked slowly to his car, trying to remember the now jumble of words that Amanda had helped him compose for the night's event.  
  
***  
  
Long time no see, handsome. An old acquaintance approached Lee, wrapping a seductive arm around his waist.   
  
Lee acknowledged. How have you been?  
  
Good, good. I just returned from overseas last week. Remember that little island off the coast of Greece, where we met?  
  
How could I forget? It was only your third assignment, and you couldn't keep your hands off me.  
  
Now, now, Scarecrow. How the memory fades. It was my fourth assignment–and your fifth, might I add–and it was you who was all over me.  
  
Billy, seeing his friend's predicament, came over with a fresh glass of wine. Here you go, Miss Fairview. I believe Agent Harrigan is looking for you.  
  
Colette raised her eyebrows. Robert Harrigan was the most eligible bachelor in the room. She noted it was obvious that Lee no longer held that distinction. He had somehow changed. Well, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen.  
  
The men nodded, and Lee sipped at his glass. Thanks, Billy.  
  
No problem. You all set?  
  
Lee shrugged his shoulders. I just want to get this over with.  
  
You're on in two minutes. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Billy's pager went off. Excuse, me. He went to check in with the Agency. Lee nervously eyed the crowd of people in front of whom he would have to stand. Why did some people make it look so easy? His palms were already sweaty, and as Billy returned, Scarecrow felt for the paper on which the speech was written. How did it go? Oh, yeah...It is my pleasure to be selected as agent of the year...  
  
A distant voice was testing the microphone. Lee knew Billy would be called soon to introduce him.   
  
Hey, Billy, shouldn't you be up there?  
  
Billy approached solemnly. There's something I need to tell you.  
  
Lee's face turned to stone. What happened to her?  
  
Reluctantly, Billy told him what he knew. They've lost contact. Stafford said there was some sort of a struggle, and then the wire went out. That's all.  
  
  
  
At the drop site. Over the Potomac.  
  
  
  
Lee, just calm down. You need to stay here and give that speech. Then you can make an excuse and leave early, if you insist. Our people are doing all they can. You know that, Lee.  
  
the distraught agent mumbled, faintly hearing a waiter come up to Billy and tell him something.   
  
Billy patted his friend on the back. Good luck. I'm proud of you–Amanda is, too. She wouldn't want you to miss this.  
  
Lee knew he was right. So he listened as Billy told a few jokes, finally introducing Scarecrow as agent of the year.  
  
And without further ado, here is the man of honor at tonight's event–Lee Scarecrow' Stetson.  
  
Applause followed Lee up the steps to the podium. He didn't feel he deserved the title. After all, what was he doing here, having fun, when his partner needed him?  
  
He smiled at his audience, reaching for his prepared speech. He cleared his throat. It is my pleasure to be selected as agent of the year. He paused, shook his head, and refolded the sheet of paper. he improvised, I don't believe that I should be the sole recipient of this honor.  
  
Billy watched curiously from the side of the stage. What is Lee up to?  
  
I'm being called the man of honor at tonight's reception. Well, I think that to truly deserve this title, I should live up to it. And I'm afraid that means calling it an early night. Surprised voices murmured among the audience. You see, to me, being a man of honor means living up to my word, doing the right thing. And I guess that's why I'm here right now. Some Agency board somewhere thinks I measure up to that standard. But to stay would be hypocritical. I stand up for what I believe. And I must admit that I would not be here tonight if it weren't for my partner, Amanda King.  
  
Billy smiled, and Lee's pause brought the anticipated applause.  
  
Amanda was unable to attend tonight's reception due to a previous commitment with the Agency. But she's been my right hand for the past three years, and I'm hoping for another three. You see, a funny thing happened to me on the way to this dinner–it was three years ago at a train station...  
  
Billy listened to his star agent with a proud grin. He, too, was worried about Amanda, but he knew she would be pleasantly surprised at Lee's impromptu speech. He also knew how much courage it was taking Lee to not run to his partner's rescue. If he had left before his speech, Amanda would not receive the credit Lee believed was due her.  
  
And so, Lee summed up, I hope you can all understand and appreciate why I must leave early. It's not because I am not honored by this award; it's because I must live up to it. Tonight isn't just about me; it's about my partner, and she may be in trouble. Any of you would do the same thing in my place. So I thank you for your attention, and I hope you stay to enjoy the evening. Good night.  
  
The applause thundered in Lee's ears as he raced down the steps to the hallway, his heart pounding. Billy was close at his heels.  
  
Great job, Scarecrow.  
  
How do we find her?  
  
Follow me.  
  
***  
  
Pacing up and down Billy's office was not exactly Scarecrow's idea of accomplishing something, but he had no choice; they were waiting to hear from the sound boys. Lee jumped when the phone rang for the dozenth time.  
  
Billy held up his hand at the agent's eagerness. Melrose...Francine! You found her?...What?...Oh, no...All right...Yes, we're on the way. He turned to Lee's perfectly agent-like expression of stone. The only tell-tale sign of his worry was reflected in his distraught green eyes.   
  
What happened? Lee demanded through clenched teeth.  
  
Billy answered quietly. She's at the hospital.  
  
***  
  
This can't be real, Lee murmured as he ran a nervous hand through his blondish hair, waiting for the elevator to reach the appropriate floor. How did this happen, Billy?  
  
The older man shook his balding head. I don't know, Lee. Sometimes things go wrong; you know that.  
  
But not to me! Not to her. She's practically a civilian, dammit!  
  
She knew the risks–  
  
Don't give me that crap, Billy.  
  
He paused before answering. I wish I knew what to say, Lee. I don't. So I'm giving you the automatic response. I'm sorry.  
  
Lee shook his head as the elevator doors opened. It's not your fault. I'm the one who should be sorry.  
  
Lee! Billy! Francine called when she saw them. In response to their questioning eyes, she motioned in the direction of an older man in surgeon's garb. Doctor Thai, this is Billy and Lee.  
  
Lee nodded his greeting as Billy shook hands with the man. How is she? Lee wanted to know.  
  
The doctor frowned, hating his job at times. Mrs. King was apparently pushed over a bridge. Basically, her back hit a pier. We've given her as much as we can to help, but she's still in quite a bit of pain. We're waiting for the x-rays.  
  
I want to see her. Lee's fists were clenched tightly, and Billy exchanged a look with Francine. They knew what this was doing to him.  
  
Doctor Thai nodded. Follow me.  
  
***  
  
Lee stood silently in front of Amanda's hospital room, where the doctor had led him. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door.  
  
Amanda's face was drawn tightly. Dark smudges underlined her tired eyes, which were set on pale skin. Lee's eyes showed his immense concern; Amanda's showed the pain she was trying so desperately to hide.  
  
Hey, partner, she said softly, her teeth clenched in concentration.  
  
Lee walked awkwardly to her side, shaking his head slowly. He sat on the edge of the hospital bed and took her hand. He could barely say the words, It should have been me.  
  
No. This is not your fault. I won't let you blame yourself.  
  
If I had been there–  
  
If you had been there, we'd both be in the hospital. There was nothing you could have done. Believe me.  
  
It hurts to talk?  
  
Everything hurts, she admitted quietly.  
  
They haven't called your mother?  
  
I asked them to wait–till we know.  
  
Lee merely nodded, gently squeezing her hand. Amanda knew what he was wondering. She returned his squeeze in reassurance.  
  
Yes, I can feel that. But not my legs. That's where it hurts–right above them, in my back. Then there's nothing. The doctor says it could be just trauma and could go away soon.  
  
Lee didn't trust himself to speak. He couldn't look at her, either. He stood and walked over to the window, running a nervous hand through his hair and staring blankly into the dark sky. I did this to you. It was barely audible.  
  
No, Lee, you–  
  
Yes, Amanda, I did. I'm the one who found you at the train station and made you work for the Agency. Why the hell couldn't I leave you alone? No, dammit, I had to go screw up your life...You've even been saying lately it's getting to you, but I just push you, and... I can't deal with this; I'm sorry. Lee quickly left the room, leaving Amanda feeling responsible for his suffering. Somehow her own situation wasn't as pressing as Lee's pain–she couldn't stand to see him beat himself up over this.  
  
A nurse soon came in to administer some more medicine. Amanda's thoughts led her into a dizzy slumber, pain temporarily unable to reach her.  
  
***  
  
Billy found Lee in his car, half a six pack later. He let himself in the unlocked passenger door.  
  
You've got to straighten yourself out, man. She needs you.  
  
When you are wrong, you are wrong, Billy. I'm the last thing she needs.  
  
You're all she has right now. She's counting on you.  
  
Lee took another gulp from a freshly opened can. She obviously can't count on me. Look at where I got her.  
  
This wasn't your fault, Scarecrow. I'm sure Amanda will tell you the same.  
  
Cause she thinks it's what I need to hear.  
  
What do you think?  
  
I think I've been in this business too damn long.  
  
  
  
And I never should have got her involved. Damn package, he muttered.  
  
I don't think she regrets it.  
  
Billy, you aren't her partner. You don't know what she's thinking. She's sick and tired of lying to her family and sneaking around. She was talking about getting out...  
  
That last case?  
  
Yeah. When Gilford had us trapped in his basement. Lee's mind drifted back to that night only a few weeks earlier. With a threat to contaminate the White House's water supply, Mac Gilford was a high-priority case. Once the Agency had pinpointed the culprit, however, it seemed open and shut. A few snags along the way had led to the entrapment of Lee and Amanda, preceded by some especially fancy talking to Amanda's family.  
  
Lee's eyes drifted far away as he saw Amanda's frustrated face once again in that basement room. When the door had been locked, she had merely shaken her head with a heavy sigh and slid her back down the wall to a sitting position. Lee had questioned her lack of optimism.  
  
Hey, don't tell me you're giving up so easily?  
  
Good ol' reliable Amanda must cheerful at all times, right?  
  
That's not what I meant.  
  
It doesn't matter.  
  
Look, I know how you feel.  
  
No, Lee. I don't think so. You grew up in this kind of lifestyle. You never had family to worry about. I don't know how much longer I can take this.  
  
Lee had sat down beside his partner, ignoring the painful reminder of his lack of a close-knit family. The lying to your mother? Or...getting trapped by the bad guys?  
  
This isn't a joke.  
  
I'm sorry.  
  
She had sighed before deciding to answer his question. All of it. It's all getting harder to deal with.  
  
Lee had taken a deep breath, afraid to pose the unthinkable. Do you want out?  
  
Amanda had looked Lee straight in the eyes, hesitancy in her voice. I don't know.  
  
A long moment of silence had followed, where their gaze held before Lee had looked away. You know, I'm not going to lie, Amanda. I don't want you to go. He had looked back at her with a grin. I've gotten kind of used to you.  
  
She had returned his smile as she clasped her hand over his. I'd miss you, too.  
  
Lee had squeezed her hand and hadn't let go until agents found them a half-hour later. He knew then he could never say good-bye permanently, even if their working relationship were to end. Now, he wasn't so sure. Maybe it would be for the best, though the damage had already been done.  
  
Billy's voice interrupted his thoughts. You've got to snap out of it, man. Despite what you think, no one is blaming you. We've all gone through the stage of questioning why we stay and wonder if it's worth it. But we go on. We've got a job to do, and all of us do it damn well. You can't have doubts–  
  
Or emotion, Lee interrupted.  
  
Not on the job, Billy conceded. To a point, though, Scarecrow. You've worked with Amanda for three years. Of course you should be concerned for her, especially since she is a special case. But she's an adult. You never forced her into anything in the long run. Now I suggest you go on home, shower, get some rest. And come back here tomorrow. Things will look better then.  
  
Sure, Billy. But Lee didn't really believe that.   
  
***  
  
It had been a hard week for Amanda. Explaining to her mother what had happened was draining, but at least it was over, in spite of the unasked questions Amanda knew awaited her recovery. The boys were very encouraging, refusing to believe their mother would lead a life without walking, and being quite supportive about her physical therapy–even if these exhausting sessions sometimes left her cranky and disheartened. And in spite all the surrounding love, something at the back of her mind nagged at her. She hadn't seen Lee since the night she was admitted, and she was worried. Billy assured her he was all right, but she couldn't get through to him on the phone, and the way Billy avoided her gaze, she knew he wasn't quite telling the truth. With a sigh, she reached for the phone once again.  
  
Used to hearing a busy signal from the receiver being off the hook, she was startled when Lee's voice came through on his answering machine. She took a deep breath, hoping this was a good sign.  
  
Hi Lee. It's me. How are you? I'm better...maybe I'm just getting used to it. But the x-rays are inconclusive, the doctors say, so we're just waiting. I thought you might want to know, but... I really wish you'd come see me. I miss you. I know you don't believe that, Lee, but it's true. I really need to talk to you. I can guess why you won't visit me, but you know, you can tell your brain something a hundred times and your heart still refuses to listen... Well, I hope you can hear me and you'll at least call back or something. Bye.  
  
Lee stared at the machine as it beeped the end of the message. Perhaps she was right. Maybe he ought to go see her one last time, to apologize for...everything. But she keeps saying she doesn't blame me... Lee glanced at his watch. He was due at a meeting. One of his contacts was pointing him in the direction of the man who had pushed Amanda over the bridge. Lee had been working day and night on this lead and was getting damn close. This could be it. Putting this man behind bars wouldn't change what had happened, but at least he was doing something. Then maybe, then he could go visit Amanda with a somewhat clear conscience. As much as he tried to deny it to himself, he was dying to see her in person, no matter how much it might hurt.  
  
***  
  
The roses were the first thing she saw. They made Amanda smile, knowing how Lee felt about the flowers after a past experience. Lee entered the room hesitantly, gently shutting the door behind him and resting the roses on a nearby table.  
  
They're beautiful, Amanda spoke first.  
  
Not half as beautiful as you. Lee spoke softly, almost shyly, as he seated himself on the edge of the bed.  
  
I'm glad you came.  
  
Are you?   
  
Amanda held out her hand, and Lee accepted the gesture, squeezing it slightly.   
  
I'm sorry, Lee whispered.  
  
I know you are. But I'm sorry you think you need to be.  
  
Lee brushed the back of her hand with a gentle kiss before clasping it between both of his hands. I think we may catch the man who did this. I just got back from talking with T.P.–He wishes you well, by the way–and he has an address for me to check out. It's on stakeout; I'm the next shift.  
  
I wish I was there to back you up.  
  
You couldn't possibly want to.  
  
But I do. I'm working on Operation Funnel, too, you know.  
  
You were.  
  
We'll see.  
  
You're unbelievable, you know that?  
  
Is that a polite way of calling me stubborn?  
  
Lee grinned. But looking at her, his face turned somber. Brushing her hair back tenderly from her face, he asked her, Did I push you into this last assignment?  
  
Amanda answered firmly. Never. I was having some doubts, I know. But I had sorted that out myself. Chalk it up to frustration, Lee. I was just having a bad day. I mean, think about it: My car had been wrecked yet again, Mother was giving me the third degree because she didn't believe my story, Phillip had a D' on his report card...it was all getting to me. I was tired. But...yes, you were a part of me staying, but that's because you're what I love about this job. She paused, her pale cheeks gaining some color as she realized how that had sounded. Wait, that's not what I meant.  
  
Oh, thanks.  
  
No, Lee, I just–  
  
I know what you meant. I'm glad we're partners, too. I just hate to see you hurt. I can't imagine... His voice trailed off, wondering how he could live with the fact that Amanda might never walk again.  
  
Amanda knew what he was thinking. Please, Lee. We've both got to stay positive. I'll be back at the Agency in no time, pestering you.  
  
  
  
Amanda nodded, seeing the searching expression in his eyes. She was suddenly conscience of the way she must look. She hadn't seen a mirror in days. Then her immobility came to mind, and her family–and that night, right before Lee left to give his speech. Her pulse was speeding up as Lee gently massaged her hand, never taking his gaze from her eyes. He leaned slowly forward until his lips barely touched hers. She could feel his warm breath against her mouth and smell his enticing cologne. His tender lips gave a light kiss. They were still, sensing each other's proximity, feeling the warmth such closeness brought. Lee kissed her again, this time a bit more firmly, before pulling slightly back.  
  
I didn't get to finish what I wanted to say, he whispered, referring to that night in the van.  
  
No, Lee, Amanda shook her head, trying to ignore her racing heart.   
  
You do blame me, then. He leaned back to his original position, but Amanda wouldn't let go of his hand.  
  
I do not, Lee. You did not push me. But like I told you then, it wouldn't work.  
  
Why not?  
  
Aside from the obvious? Lee, we're totally opposite. I'm a divorced woman with two kids, a mortgage, and a mother. You're a swinging bachelor who can–and likes to, might I add–take off at a moment's notice. She stopped to take a breath. The long day had taken its toll.  
  
Hey, take it easy. Are you okay? He could tell she was hurting. He poured her a glass of water from the pitcher on the nearby table. Here you go.  
  
Thank you.  
  
We're not so different, you know.   
  
Amanda knew. She had convinced herself of that after Lee had left for his speech that night. She had been prepared to have that discussion again, but now... Look at me, Lee.  
  
I am.  
  
No. The way I am now. This may be as good as it gets. Why would you want to be burdened taking care of someone who can't walk, much less...do other things. She pulled her hand away from his.  
  
How could you even say that? How could you believe I'm like that?  
  
It doesn't matter how you are. I can't burden you, or anyone else. I won't.  
  
You would never be a burden.  
  
I think that's enough, Lee.  
  
I don't.  
  
Please leave. I'm tired.  
  
Yes, Mr. Stetson, a nurse spoke as she opened the door, a small bottle in her hand. It's time for Mrs. King to rest and take her medicine. You can come back tomorrow.  
  
Lee sighed as he gave Amanda one last, long look. He stood, giving her a friendly kiss on the forehead, knowing he had to take his time. I'll be back soon...partner.  
  
Thank you.  
  
***  
  
Lee massaged his bruised jaw tenderly as he sat across from Billy in his office. Three of them jumped me.  
  
You say you recognized Bacher?  
  
It was definitely him. As Amanda would say, he's got beady weasel eyes and a voice like sandpaper.  
  
Who were his partners?  
  
New in town. I've never seen them before. They sure pack a hell of a punch, though.  
  
Billy grinned. You'll live. He called for Francine to come into his office.  
  
  
  
Francine, I want you to put out an APB on Richard Bacher.  
  
Didn't you already take care of Bacher, Scarecrow?  
  
Until he was paroled.  
  
So he took care of you? she said, noticing his bruised jaw.  
  
Hey, you should see the way *I* left *him*.  
Billy raised his eyebrows. Oh? Are you saying you managed to pack a few good punches to the gang that cornered you?  
  
It wasn't exactly a gang...  
  
Playing with the big boys, eh Scarecrow? Francine smirked.  
  
Are we through, kids? Billy admonished.  
  
Francine answered. I'll get right on that.  
  
Too bad he caught you on the stakeout, Lee, Billy commented. But at least we know who we're dealing with.  
  
He's not gonna know what hit him.  
  
Lee, I don't have to remind you that this Agency is not a tool for vengeance.  
  
Of course not, Billy. But he's gonna pay for what he did to Amanda–yes, nice and clean, by Agency standards.  
  
Good. Now go home, get some rest. Come back in a few hours, and hopefully we'll have him by then.  
  
I don't need rest.  
  
That's an order, Scarecrow. Don't make me call Amanda.  
  
Lee grinned. No, anything but that! I'm gone. But you'd better call when they get Bacher.  
  
Don't worry, Lee. Bacher's yours.  
  
***  
  
All right, dear. I'll be back tomorrow with the kids. I love you. Dotty hugged Amanda before reluctantly pulling back. She had to get home to fix the boys' dinner.  
  
I love you, too, Mother...And thank you.  
  
What on earth for?  
  
For not asking any questions.  
  
You just wait till you're well, young lady, Dotty smiled. You won't have any peace.  
  
Good night, Mother.  
  
Good night, Sweetheart.  
  
Lee peeked around the hallway to see Dotty leave the hospital room and head toward the elevator. He quickly made his way to the door, smiling to see Amanda awake.  
  
Now why am I not surprised to see you? Have you been lurking around corners again, Scarecrow?  
  
You know me too well. Lee pulled up a chair next to the bed and took her hand. The pain's not too bad?  
  
Not right now. But then, the nurse just shot me up with about a hundred pain killers, so... she grinned but saw that her comment had the opposite effect on Lee. She squeezed his hand. Hey, I'm kidding. I think the pain really is getting less. And...  
  
And what?  
  
The doctor wants to operate.  
  
  
  
Yeah. Dr. Thai said that I'm strong enough to get through it now, and that I'm a good candidate, so...  
  
What are the odds?  
  
Okay. About half and half.  
  
  
  
Lee, there are always risks. But I think surgery is the best thing.  
  
  
  
Day after tomorrow was the soonest he could do it.  
  
I'll be here.  
  
I know you would if I asked, but Lee, Mother's gonna be here as it is, and then the boys after school...You don't need to come.  
  
Yes. I do.  
Amanda smiled. Okay. But what about the case?  
  
Well, that's good news. It took a week, but we got Bacher and one of his boys. I gave him the once-over yesterday. He slipped up big time and fried himself–he's back behind bars as we speak.  
  
What's the story?  
  
Well, we were right about Funnel. There was a movement to break into the national treasury–we even found evidence underground. We just didn't know who–until we got Bacher. But I get the feeling he's not the mastermind.  
  
Why's that?  
  
I don't know. He admitted he was at the bridge, but...he just seemed unsure, like he was playing along.  
  
You think he's covering for someone?  
  
Maybe. You said you didn't recognize the photo, right?  
  
It was dark, Lee. Whoever it was had a mask. I just can't say for sure.  
  
I wish I could nail the guy who did this to you.  
  
Does Billy think there's someone else?  
  
There were three guys who cornered me, so there's someone all right. But that's one thing Bacher and his boy aren't saying. Smith says it's just some punk and case closed.  
  
Maybe something will come up.  
  
Yeah...But in the meantime, guess what?  
  
  
  
Billy says there's an old Agency hideout about an hour out of town. There's been some rock slides over the years, and the cabin's unstable–probably won't last another rainy season. He said when you get out of here, we can go up and check it out, make sure all our equipment is out before it goes.  
  
  
  
Yep. So you better get well before the next rain.  
  
I promise. I have a good feeling about this operation.  
  
It'll be fine.  
  
You know, I guess it's not so bad to have you here, after all.  
  
Gee, thanks.  
  
She smiled. You're a good friend, Lee.  
  
He leaned over and kissed her forehead. I'll be back tomorrow.  
  
I'm counting on it. Amanda watched him leave her room, a tightness around her heart. As much as she knew the surgery was what she needed, she was worried. What would happen if it didn't work, and she could never walk again? She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. It was too hard to think about that. Her back was beginning to get the familiar ache, and she was tired. Sleep wasn't long in coming.  
  
***  
  
I want you to take slow, deep breaths into the mask, Mrs. King. Just try to relax. You may experience a little discomfort when you wake up, but we'll try to control that with medication.  
  
Amanda breathed into the mask, images racing through her mind. Dr. Thai and his surgical team surrounded her in the OR, a blur of faces and equipment that blended together, fading in and out before everything went black.  
  
***  
  
Dammit, Billy, it's been nearly a month since we got Bacher, and he's still not talking! Lee paced his superior's office in frustration.  
  
I think you're going to have to face it, Lee. Either he's never gonna talk because there's nothing to say, or he doesn't think we can protect him if he does talk.  
  
The case is officially closed tomorrow night if no new evidence comes up, Lee pointed out.  
  
Smyth has already been in here, Billy acknowledged. As far as he's concerned, the sooner we get rid of this, the better. We've got Bacher, we've got his accomplice...what else is there?  
  
Whoever did this to Amanda may still be out there, Lee said quietly. And he's not going to get away with it.  
  
Billy saw his opportunity to change the subject. How's she doing?  
  
She's okay. The operation went as expected. Now we just wait. He smiled, remembering the previous night's phone call. She said her toe itched.  
  
  
  
Mm-hm. Dr. Thai said it could just be her brain getting things mixed up, but they're running some tests today, and...  
  
She's a fighter, Lee. Our Amanda will make it through just fine.  
Lee grinned, knowing that in earlier times he would have corrected the to a He affirmed, She sure will. My Amanda will be just fine.  
  
***  
  
When Lee got to the hospital that evening, he saw tears rolling down Amanda's face. He ran to her bedside.  
  
What's wrong?! he grabbed her tense hand as pain and joy warred on her face.  
  
Oh, gosh, Lee, it hurts so bad.  
  
  
  
My legs. I can feel them.  
  
Lee's smile couldn't have been wider. You can?  
  
She nodded and gave a silly giggle. I told the nurse I didn't want any medicine for the pain, so she went to get the doctor to try to knock some sense into me.  
  
I pity the poor man, Lee smiled.  
  
Amanda slugged him playfully. I just want to lay here and feel my legs. I don't care if it hurts. Does that sound silly?  
  
He shook his head. It must be incredible.  
  
Ah, Mrs. King, Dr. Thai smiled from the doorway. I see you're causing Nurse Meyers some problems?  
  
Ask Lee here–I'm good at causing trouble. A giggle escaped her lips, turning into a groan. But her overall joy permeated the room.  
  
If you'll excuse me a minute, Mr. Stetson, Dr. Thai continued as he walked over to his patient, I'd like to do a quick examination to see what's going on here.  
  
Good news? Lee questioned, afraid that the sensations in her legs might not lead to a full recovery.  
  
I have a feeling your friend's stubborn streak has paid off, the doctor affirmed with a wink.  
  
***  
  
Amanda took a deep breath as she stood outside the familiar brick building. It hasn't changed. Somehow it seemed like something ought to be different after two months away, but life had gone on there without her.  
  
It had been the same way at her house, but her homecoming the previous week had been an all-out party, with friends, neighbors, and family crowded around decorations and a mountain of food to welcome her back. When they had all gone, she was able to finally sit on her own couch and count her blessings. Nothing had ever felt so good as to be able to kiss her kids good night in their own beds.  
  
Granted, the crutches made it a bit difficult going up and down the stairs, but she was getting rather deft at it, and she wasn't worried about navigating around IFF–just a little nervous about seeing her co-workers again.  
  
Well, you can't stand out here all day, silly, she told herself. And crutches firmly in place, she made her way to the entrance.  
  
Why, Mrs. King, the secretary/watchdog greeted her when she came in. I didn't expect you in so soon.  
  
Good morning, Mrs. Marsten. Well, I got tired of being in bed all the time. Of course, I can't do any field work, but I was thinking Mr. Melrose might have some paperwork he's behind in.  
  
Knowing this place he probably does, she smiled. Do you need any help?  
  
No thanks, Amanda said as she parted the clothes in the closet/elevator. I'm learning to manage.  
  
They're just getting out of a meeting, Mrs. Marsten called as the elevator doors began to clothes.  
  
Amanda nodded her thanks before reaching into her purse. It wasn't quite time for her pain medication yet, but the extra stress of coming in to work was taking its toll. She took a sip from her bottled water and took the pill. The doors opened, and she looked about.  
  
Stop being so nervous, she scolded herself. With resolve, she swung her purse over her shoulder in a manner so it would not fall off, and she made her way to the bullpen.  
  
She got a few stares and many greetings and inquiries to her health. Everyone assumed she was on the road to a full recovery. After all, she had been paralyzed for a while, and now she merely needed crutches to help her get around. It was only a matter of time–at least that's what everyone kept saying. Amanda wasn't so sure. From that memorable day of waking up to find her legs hurting, her progress had been rapid. The pain had lessened, and her body grew strong. Now, two weeks had gone by with no improvement. The doctor was noncommittal about the reason, and Amanda couldn't bear staying at home all day, wondering what would happen.  
  
You look a little lost, dear, a patronizing, though familiar, voice interrupted her thoughts.  
  
Francine, how nice to see you again.  
  
You, too. Lee didn't say you'd be in today.  
  
He doesn't know. I'm not supposed to really, but I think I'm ready to get back to work. It's been awhile.  
  
Yeah, I've had to work with Lee most of the time, put up with his complaints.  
  
Amanda felt a pang of envy that Francine had partnered up with him. Oh? Did you work with him on a lot of cases?  
  
All but one, she confirmed. Well, speak of the devil.  
  
he approached her worriedly. What are you doing here?  
  
She shifted the weight on her crutches. I work here, remember?  
  
Welcome back, Amanda, Billy arrived, extending his hand. It's good to have you here.  
  
Lee lectured, isn't it too soon?  
  
I'm okay, she insisted, her eyes pleading with him not to argue.  
  
He looked at her dubiously. I just don't want you to push yourself too much.  
  
I'm not.  
  
Francine repeated, She's not.  
  
Lee gave a dirty look to her teasing grin before turning his attention to Billy.  
  
Do you have any typing she can do for you? He didn't want Amanda to get any foolish ideas about joining him on assignment.  
  
Actually, no. We had some people working overtime last week to try and close up some old cases, and they got a lot done.  
  
Lee muttered to himself, knowing that nothing more had been discovered on Bacher's case.  
  
Billy chose to ignore him. However, Lee, there's still that cabin I told you about.  
  
I don't know... he began hesitantly.  
  
That would be perfect, Amanda stated. Lee, I have been cooped up for so long. Wouldn't it be nice to spend a weekend up there? Her face pinkened as she saw Francine's curious eyes turn towards her. Uh, I mean...  
  
There you go, Billy saved her. Tomorrow morning, Lee, get up there, check it out, and stay till Monday if Amanda wants to get away for awhile. Just don't forget your cell phone. I doubt we bothered to keep up electricity or anything.  
  
Wait a minute, Francine protested. Why do they get to go on a vacation, for pete's sake, while I'm stuck here with the dirty work?  
  
Amanda smiled, Would you like to come with us, Francine?  
  
Only a moment passed before her answer, Not on your life.   
  
Now that that's settled, Billy continued, I'll talk to you tomorrow, Lee. I have a phone call to make. I'm glad things are getting better for you, Amanda.  
  
Thank you, sir.  
  
Careful in the woods, kids, Francine remarked as she followed Billy to his office.  
  
Are you sure? Lee turned to Amanda.  
  
How hard could it be?  
  
***  
  
What if we have to hike?  
  
Lee, I'll be fine, Amanda repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning. Lee was driving her car, having just left most signs of civilization, and he still was fussing over her. she continued. It's mostly just my back that's sore sometimes. My legs are okay; they just need to get stronger. I hope I sound more confident than I feel, she thought.  
  
Why do I get the feeling I'm gonna end up having to carry you?  
  
Look on the bright side: It'll give Francine something to talk about.  
  
Lee grinned. The doctor was right–if you weren't so stubborn...  
  
Then I wouldn't have convinced you to keep me as a partner all this time, she completed with a smile.  
  
Lee shook his head as he tried to remember the right path. Roads were nothing but dirt now, and signs were scarce. It was obvious that the cabin wasn't the only thing in danger of being washed out. Fallen debris from the aging forest littered the ground. He muttered to himself, glad they had taken Amanda's Wagoneer.  
  
Need help? she inquired.  
  
He groaned good-naturedly. Do the Junior Trailblazers know how to drive through this mess?  
  
Don't be silly; they're too young to drive. But if we were hiking, each one would know which direction they were going and if they were headed to the right place.  
  
I suppose they would know which direction they're supposed to be going, too, right?  
  
She looked at him curiously. Lee, don't you know which direction to go?  
  
Well, I never really needed to, he defended himself. I always recognized the road. It's just been so damn long since I've been up here that things have changed. Billy wasn't kidding when he said the winters had gotten up here...And stop looking at me like that.  
  
Like what? she asked innocently.  
  
Like you're my disapproving den mother who's about to lecture me on being prepared.  
  
She couldn't stifle a smile. Who, me?  
  
Don't get me started, he laughed but abruptly stopped when the Wagoneer hit an especially large fallen tree, coming to a standstill.   
  
Amanda winced at the dent she knew would show. Mother will never believe me, she said simply, referring to her nice, relaxing weekend getaway, which was how she had described this assignment.  
  
Lee muttered something under his breath as he backed slowly away and tried to veer to the right. It was no use; the road had long since vanished to foresty undergrowth. No wonder the Agency liked this damned place so much. He glanced at his watch. It shouldn't be too far from here, he gave up. Think you're up to it?  
  
Except for some tricky looking trees, the area looked fairly smooth. No problem, she responded, unbuckling her seat belt. What are you waiting for?  
  
He rolled his eyes. All right, Davy Crockett, let's go. He grabbed the packs they had brought and put his own on his back, carrying Amanda's. She managed to get out of the car, compass in hand, and sit on the sideways tree, swinging her legs over and placing her crutches on the other side.  
  
Lee teased. She grinned and waited for him to join her.   
  
They slowly made their way up a steadily steepening trail before they heard the river. Not too long, now, he noted after nearly an hour.  
  
Amanda gave a tight smile in response, refusing to let Lee see how tired she had become. Her arms and legs ached with the unaccustomed effort. This can only make me stronger, she kept telling herself.  
  
There it is, Lee pointed to the top of a rather steep hill, near the muddy banks of the river. The cabin rested at its top, weathered with age.  
  
It looks lonely, Amanda remarked thoughtfully to herself.  
  
It's supposed to, Lee stated. The Agency wants to keep people away from it.  
  
They bring people here they want to hide?  
  
Mm-hm. Looks like a hell of a journey to the top. I don't remember it this bad. He looked at her protectively. I'm not sure this will work.  
  
Of course it will, she insisted, though her voice gave away her own doubts.  
  
  
  
I can do it.  
  
How? I'm gonna have trouble as it is with two packs. Don't ask me how we're gonna get stuff back down. And I know you've been trying to hide it, but you're struggling on flat ground. You're too tired.  
  
I can do it, she almost pleaded.  
  
He set the backpacks down and went to her, putting a firm hand on her shoulder. I blame myself for this–I know you don't, but I do, and that's that. I'm so sorry that you have to feel dependent on other people. And I hope to hell that we can burn those damn things pretty soon. But for now, I'm not gonna let your stubbornness hurt you. You've got to let me help.  
  
Amanda teetered slightly as she felt the blisters that were most certainly on her hands by now. She looked at him reluctantly. I know I've been pushing you away. I'm sorry about that, but I just want to feel like I can still do everything I could before. And I don't want you to see that I can't and feel responsible.  
  
Lee ran his hand lightly down her cheek. He motioned her to let go of her crutches and to put her arms around him. She complied, and he gently lifted her and carried her over to a nearby log. Wait here. I'm gonna scout around the hill and find the best place to climb.   
  
She nodded as he walked away, stretching out her hands. She could tell from the sun it was time for her medicine. She brought out a pill from her pocket and drank from the canteen hanging around her neck. The singing birds and rushing water lulled her to a half-sleep, and she stretched out on the log. When she was lying down it was so easy to forget...  
  
***  
  
Amanda blinked her eyes as a chill went down her spine. It was darker now, and she quickly looked around the deserted area. she called out somewhat worried.  
  
Right here, he answered, appearing from behind her. Feel rested?  
  
she answered, struggling to a sitting position. Why didn't you wake me?  
  
You were tired, he answered simply, sitting beside her. Besides, it's been a long day. Anyway, I found a place that's not too bad, about a half-mile down.  
  
Let's go, she directed, allowing him to help her to standing. He handed her the crutches and picked up the packs.  
  
Just in case, though, he told her, I want us tied together.  
  
I agree. A good Trailblazer always puts safety first. If you fall, than I can brace you.  
  
he grinned, shaking his head.  
  
***  
  
With the path dry and the trail not steep, Amanda had little trouble making it to the top. It was slow-going, though, and by the time they reached the cabin, the sun had gone down, and a bright, full moon was beginning to rise.  
  
You can see all the stars out here, Amanda observed, a bit in awe of the reminder that they were only a small part of the vast universe.   
  
It's easy to forget sometimes when you're in the city, Lee agreed, the feeling seeping through him in spite of himself. He looked at his partner.   
  
She smiled slightly. I will be tomorrow, I'm sure, she admitted. No bathtub here, I guess.  
  
'Fraid not. Not unless you count the river.  
  
She shivered, thinking of the ice that would undoubtably have formed by morning. No thanks.  
  
A comfortable silence followed while the partners enjoyed the night air. Amanda's yawn escaped before she could stifle it, breaking the mood.   
  
She giggled.   
  
Lee grinned. What's to be sorry about? We're both exhausted. Come on. Let's get some sleep. He rested his hand naturally on the small of her back as she nodded in agreement. And you get the bed, he added, knowing where her next thoughts would lie.  
  
she answered, though knowing her tired body would be just as happy out on the log where she had napped. Let me just take my medicine first, she added, shuffling over to her bag.  
  
Lee collapsed on the couch, an arm over his eyes, unwilling to move. But the quiet rustling in the corner grew loud. He heard Amanda mutter something under her breath. He slowly raised his protesting body.   
  
She sighed and looked to him. I can't find my medicine.  
  
Oh. Well, are you sure you packed it?  
  
She gave him a look of pure annoyance. Of course I brought it. I took it earlier.  
  
Maybe it's just in a corner of the bag somewhere.  
  
I looked!  
  
Hey, don't take it out on me. We'll find it.  
  
We better.  
  
When's the last time you saw it?  
  
At the foot of the hill, where I... Dammit. I must not have put it away. She realized that she had fallen asleep right after taking the pill, probably not bothering to return the bottle to her backpack.  
  
Lee was a little startled at her utter frustration in losing the medicine. Well, it has been a long day, he rationalized. Does it hurt that bad? he worried.  
  
She nodded, not wanting to admit the growing fear within her.  
  
he rested a hand on her shoulder. I'll hike down tomorrow at first light and get them. Don't you have some aspirin you can use till then?  
  
Why would I have aspirin? she questioned coolly, moving away from his touch.  
  
Well, I just thought...  
  
That's your problem, Lee. You think too much. Or not enough. I don't need aspirin. I need my pills. She got up as quickly as she could to scoot away from him.  
  
Lee stood slowly, concern outlining his green eyes. Amanda, how often do you take the pills?  
  
She kept her back turned. When it hurts.  
  
He moved closer, beginning to understand. When what hurts?  
  
My back, she said, not believing it herself. She knew it wasn't always her back. Lately, she'd been taking the pills after an argument with her mother or an especially depressing day. They made her feel like she was doing something to help herself. Since my damn legs won't work right!  
  
he tried to reach for her again, but she escaped to the porch, again looking at the stars, but through a thin veil of tears. He followed. You can't run away.  
  
What do you know about it? she yelled, facing him. How could you possibly know what I'm going through, what I've been through?! The wall she had built up around herself since the accident was crumbling, emotions rushing out so fast she didn't have time to think about what she was saying. You aren't the one who fell from that damn bridge! I am! Me! Things aren't always about you, Lee! When are you going to realize that?!  
  
Lee stared into her angry and hurt eyes, aware that he had unwittingly caused a good deal of the pain and wondering how he had never seen it before. She had been so brave in the hospital, trying to protect him from what had happened, and he had been too wrapped up in self-depreciation that he hadn't noticed the hidden layers. He guessed she could recall every one of the numerous times he had ditched her on assignment or stuck her with the paperwork. He knew how important she was to his work–hell, he'd said as much to the crowd at that banquet that now seemed like a lifetime ago. But had he ever told her? Lee mentally kicked himself. No. Of course he hadn't. He had simply tried to keep her away from the Agency since her accident, as if that would protect her from the big bad world. It only served to create the rift that was now appearing between them. What could he say now that would make a difference?  
  
he tried. Why didn't you tell me? About the pills. That hurt him. He'd thought they could come to each other about anything.  
  
Would you have cared?  
  
How can you say that? Of course I care.  
  
Sure, you would have helped me. But you wouldn't ask why. Why was I taking them? And if you had, I couldn't have told you. Then you would just blame yourself.  
  
It *is* my fault.  
  
It's *not* your fault, dammit! I told you this is about me. It has been since I was stupid enough to get pushed over the bridge, and is now that I've chosen pills as my means of escape. This has nothing to do with you!  
  
It could have happened to anyone... he said, finally understanding.  
  
It happened to me! And now you don't trust me. I understand.  
  
I trust you with my life.  
  
Then you're making a mistake.  
  
Never. Not when it comes to trusting you. We're partners. Friends.  
  
she stated firmly, wondering why she was so determined to hurt this man that she loved. No, we are not friends. We never have been. We're business associates, remember?  
  
The hateful words stung back at him and wondered if she would slap him the way he had her. Of course, he had done it as public proof that he had changed, part of an assignment, and though she had insisted she understood, he could see that it still hurt. How many other times have I hurt you? he dared ask, aware that he should already know.  
  
It doesn't matter. You don't matter, she said bitterly, and she hobbled down the steps around the other side of the house, before the utter look of shock and hurt on her partner's face began to eat away at her conscience.  
  
Lee stood silently, staring after her retreating figure. This verbal slap in the face was worse than a physical one could ever have been. Did she really mean it? Did she really stop caring? He sighed and leaned over the rail, his eyes closed. You really screwed this one up, Skipper, he could hear his uncle's voice fill his confused mind. You've lost her for good now.  
  
Amanda had merely gone far enough away to be out of sight. But she had seen his reaction to her words, and she felt mean–after all, she wasn't really mad at him. It was the first time she had lashed out at all after the accident. It was due time, but why did it have to be aimed at him? She knew underneath just how sensitive he was. She couldn't let things stand as they were.  
  
Ashamed at her words, she allowed a few tears to fall down her cheeks as she went back up the steps. Lee's form straightened at the sound of the creaking wood, but he did not turn around.  
  
She went close to him and whispered, her throat choked up. I didn't mean it, Lee. You know I didn't. I'm sorry.  
  
Before she had finished, Lee held her against him, his arms wrapped tightly around her. I love you. There. It was said before he could change his mind–again.  
  
She looked up in surprise.   
  
He knew what she was thinking. Gently stroking her hair, he explained. No, it's not pity, so don't dare think that. He noted gratefully that her expression relaxed. It's a realization, Amanda. I almost lost you–and I couldn't believe I had never told you, might never have the chance. I should have said something right away, but... When you seemed okay, well, I figured there was still time. But I was so afraid that you'd be hurt again, so I tried to protect you by keeping you away from the Agency. It was stupid, I know... But it was never because I don't trust you. I would never want anyone else there to cover my back. We'll get through this together, just like always. He smiled now, his uncharacteristic speech finally finished. I love you, he repeated simply.  
  
She had heard his touching words and felt that her tears were about to resume, though happy ones this time. But something held her back. It was more than the fact that the Agency would frown on such a relationship. She thought of the fact that she was now as good as she might get. Self-consciously she asked, How can you love me like this? She was afraid to let herself believe she was understanding him, only to be let down for a fall. I've had enough of those, she thought regretfully.  
  
The loving expression on her partner's face erased all doubts. Oh, Amanda, how can I make you understand? He leaned towards her slowly, kissing her lightly on the lips. She immediately let her crutches fall as she balanced herself between his body and the railing, finally returning one of his sweet kisses, filled with the tenderness of a long-denied love.  
  
Lee would always joke later that Amanda had been so involved in what they were doing, it was her fault that she lost her balance, though she always insisted Lee was to blame for not supporting her properly. In any case, their second kiss was broken unwillingly when Amanda let go of the banister and leaned in to Lee, who wasn't prepared to accept the weight, causing the two of them to fall in a laughing heap on the floor.  
  
Through his loud laughs, Lee couldn't help but say, Really, Amanda, you could have waited till we got to the bedroom at least.  
  
She smacked him playfully from her position of having landed on top of him and remarked to his surprise and pleasure. Three years was long enough. She covered his mouth with hers, and they lay there, passionately kissing, wondering why the sensations they were feeling were so much more powerful than with any other relationship either had had.  
  
Amanda wasn't sure how far she would have gone had they not heard the noise. It was hard enough to break apart from their newfound comfort when it came to survival... They both ended the kiss at the same time.  
  
What was that? Amanda whispered, close to his ear, not daring to move.  
  
I don't know, he answered quietly, slowly moving out from under her. She reached silently for her crutches, but Lee put a hand out to stop her, motioning for her to crawl to the door, as he would do, as he hadn't bothered to keep his gun on him. She nodded, and Lee saw her safely inside, before he followed.  
  
Not so fast, an agonizingly familiar voice beckoned, followed by the distinct sound of the cocking of a gun. Get up, the voice ordered.  
  
Lee did as he was told, but never one to give in, he acknowledged. Bacher. You bastard. It was you all along.  
  
Nice to see you, too, Scarecrow. Where's your crippled partner? I had hoped to finish her off tonight. He motioned to the crutches. She's obviously here.  
  
Lee's blood boiled, but his expression remained stone. Amanda, however, could see the tension in his eyes, as she felt it herself, silently berating herself for wondering if Bacher had happened to pick up her pills on his way up.  
  
Well, he obviously doesn't see me a threat, she told herself in relief. It would be almost easy to fool him, but there was the problem of the ready gun aimed at Lee's head. I'm not losing him now, she resolved, suddenly realizing she had not said with words how she felt. Of course, he had to already know, but she knew from experience what a difference it was to know something and hear it for herself.  
  
Eying the men, she crawled slowly to the other side of the dimly lit room, behind the old couch. Lee was trying to keep Bacher talking, not trying anything desperate as perhaps he would have if alone. Lee's gun rested on the table beside it, and with a grimace, she reached up to take hold of the barrel. Her lower back was killing her, but she ignored it, knowing her partner trusted her enough to handle the situation.  
  
How'd you get out of jail, Bacher?  
  
Oh, you know. A guard made a deal with the devil.  
  
Don't flatter yourself.  
  
Don't you, Scarecrow. You seem to forget that I am the one in control.  
  
You're outnumbered.  
  
You, a gun to your head, and your partner, without legs. Tell me now, how does that work?  
  
he repeated, wanting to kill this man with his bare hands, but instead a menacing whisper emanated. She could beat your ass any day.  
  
Bacher didn't hide his amusement. Then where is she? He motioned for Lee to go inside.  
  
Lee peered nervously around the cabin. Where *was* she? Even the bedroom seemed deserted. The only other way out was the window. And she couldn't have done that. Could she? he wondered.  
  
Bacher shoved the agent down to the couch, assuming his partner was hiding underneath. Where else could she have gone? He had seen her crawl inside.  
  
Lee noted that his gun was missing from the coffee table as he remembered that he had, in fact, closed the window after they'd come back in the first time. Now it was open.  
  
Outside, Amanda ignored the stabbing pains running through her weak legs. They were working, what did she care the cost? She'd heard of the adrenaline rush that could enable someone enough strength to lift a car a loved one was trapped underneath, and she likened her sensation to this. Had she given up trying to walk on her own because she didn't think it was possible? Well, here she was, someone having managed to crawl through the high window, land on the ground, and walk low but painfully, around back towards the front, gun in hand. She had done it, and she knew Lee would be proud.  
  
Give it up, Bacher. My partner's out there, with a gun, and she's gonna find you.  
  
I'm shaking in my boots, Scarecrow. His confidence in himself was astounding, as he lowered his gun and pulled up the couch cover as if to surprise someone underneath. His confusion gave Lee the advantage in spite of his now bound hands, and he leapt up to knock Bacher across the back. Bacher recovered quickly, and Lee found himself face to face with the barrel of a gun.  
  
Greatly embarrassed by his mistake, Bacher was determined to make Lee pay. Say good-bye, Scarecrow. His trigger finger moved slowly before the man stumbled backwards, clutching his knee. What the f–  
  
Lee grinned broadly, knowing what had happened, allowing his heart to slow its nervous beating. Looking at the doorway, he saw Amanda standing before she sank to the ground, exhausted. Determination returned to his eyes as he went to the wounded man, using the man's pocket knife to unbind his hands.  
  
Get up. Bacher didn't move. Lee kicked him hard in the ribs, and when he still remained still, Lee fell on top of him, pommeling his face.  
  
No, Lee! Stop! But he wouldn't listen to Amanda's pleas as his anger for his partner's accident was released in the comforting blows. She couldn't let him do this, but she was too tired to move. Aiming the gun at the ceiling, she fired.  
  
Lee was snapped back to reality, noting that the man beneath him was now unconscious. Worriedly, he checked for and found a pulse before going over to his partner. was all he could say.  
  
She understood. Realizing she no longer had to be strong, she held up her hand. Help me, she said with a half-smile. I'm a little tired.  
  
He returned the smile, but instead of picking her up, he joined her on the floor and held her close. Don't ever leave me, Amanda.  
  
  
  
***  
  
It was a hard road they were traveling, but neither was afraid of a good challenge. Amanda, especially, had a fighting spirit inside, and it worked to her advantage against the pain that she experienced as feeling and usage returned to her legs. She adamantly refused any kind of medication, other than aspirin, though the doctor insisted they could work something out.   
  
Lee was glad to report that Bacher was in prison, for good this time, as he came to see Amanda two weeks after their adventure. No one else was home, and they hadn't seen each other privately since their return. Lee walked quietly inside with a single red rose, intending to surprise her with his visit.  
  
He found her sitting cross legged on the couch, silent tears streaming down her face. Surprise forgotten, he hurried towards her. Amanda, what's wrong?  
  
She looked up at him, somehow not surprised that he was suddenly in her living room, and she gave him a watery smile. You *do* trust me, she said.  
  
Lee was confused. Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?  
  
In her same tone, she continued. You *do* see me as your full partner. You *do* appreciate my work.  
  
He nodded slowly until she pointed to a video tape on the coffee table. He picked it up, reading the cover: Classified. Agent of the Year Banquet 1986. He grinned sheepishly, suddenly embarrassed.  
  
Amanda ran her hand through his blondish hair. You really are a man of honor, you know. That was so sweet of you, Lee.  
  
It was the truth, he stated, clasping her hand. You mean everything to me.  
  
I love you.  
  
Lee didn't know his heart would leap the way it did when she said those words. He leaned over and kissed her tenderly.  
  
When he finally pulled away, the tears were gone, but the smile remained. He noted that her crutches were nowhere to be seen. He glanced at the stereo remote and switched it on before asking, Would you like to dance?  
  
She grinned even more broadly as she accepted the support from his hand, helping her to stand. They walked slowly to the middle of the room, putting their arms around each other. The song that played, Janis Ian's No One Else Like You, spoke their bond as they danced heart to heart, souls intertwined:  
  
I have spent a lifetime learning how to cry  
And how to make the most of every sad goodbye  
I thought forever would never be mine  
And I'd be lonely til the end of time  
So baby I'm amazed that it can feel like this  
From coffee in the morning to a good night kiss  
You're really making up for all the love I missed  
I put it all behind cause I know you're mine  
Now that you are mine...  
There's no one else like you  
No one like you  
No one that loved me the way you do  
Through all the darkness  
I've always known this  
One thing is true  
There's no one else like you.  
How can I imagine life without your love  
Living on a memory wouldn't be enough  
Who could I turn to when times were tough  
I'd be standing in the shadow/going on without you  
I really wouldn't want to  
I never want to...  
  
As the song faded, Lee whispered in her ear, I love you, Amanda King.  
  
I love you, Lee Stetson, she returned, their lips joining once more. But this time, they didn't fall.  
  
  
THE END  



End file.
